reading rainbow......

it can take you anywhere.....it's in a book, just take a look, reading rainbow.... i read a lot of books now, because i live in the middle of no where and there's nothing else really to do. so i thought i should keep everyone updated on what i'm reading, if i like or not, good quotes, bad quotes, etc. here's a list of what i've read in the past 2 months:

Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac
The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
A Man Without a Country by Kurt Vonnegut (I'm still reading this one)

I've really enjoyed all of them. I like to read. I especially enjoyed Dharma Bums, and would recommend it, if you're wanting to read a good book. I do have to warn you that there are some orgies involved in the book. I'm making Mandy read it. I just finished Into the Wild. It was really sad/inspiring. It's a true story about a 22 year old who hitchhiked to Alaska and died. And now I'm reading A Man Without a Country. It's written by the same guy who wrote Slaughterhouse Five, which is another good book. My favorite book of all time though is Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. That book truely changed my life and brought me closer to God. Here's a quote I liked from the book I'm reading:

"Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get enormous reward. You will have created something."

on fire....

When I was younger, especially in middle school, the big event to attend was Acquire the Fire, or ATF as the cool people called it. The only reason I began going was because my friends were all going. But every year it was the same depressing cylce. For 6 months they'd be hyping it up at my school/youth group we'd all go and get "on fire for God". When I was there as well as when we'd get back, I'd feel so guilty. The way they described someone who was "on fire" did not fit me at all, and since the only good Christian was an on fire Christian, I concluded I wasn't Christian. So for the greater part of my teen years I battled this stigma. At the youth conference they'd always use this line....."IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT GOD IS REAL AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL, THEN YOU BETTER BE CONCERNED" The result of that speech was me rededicating my life to God and saying the sinner's prayer every four months. I didn't KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW that God was real and that I wasn't going to hell, I still don't know about the 4th KNOW. I think I have it up to the 3rd, but to be an on fire good Christian that's not good enough.....I wish someone would have told me that being a Christian didn't always look the same. I felt like I was the only one in an auditorium of 5,000 people who didn't match the criteria. (Other than the bad kids, whose parents made them come.) More than anything in the world I wanted to be a good Christian but no matter how hard I tried or what I did I never matched the ATF description. I wish I wouldn't have been so passive and let other people tell me how to follow God. It's all worked out in the end though. I now know that just because I don't fit their description, I'm a Christian. In the early years of my Seattle life I had a few breakdowns, which mainly centered around me not thinking I was a Christian. A wise man named Phil Cunningham told me, "If you weren't a Christian, you wouldn't be so worried about whether you were one or not" it made a lot of sense to me and relieved a lot of stress. So I have one main regret in my life, I regret believing whatever anyone in authority told me, without thinking for myself first. It really bothers me now to think how I allowed people to dictate what I believed and thought. When I would get into trouble in middle/high school, I automatically assumed they were right and I was wrong, but now looking back I can see some times when they were completely wrong, and I just sat back took the punishment. I was way to passive and obedient. Anyways, I don't think the ATF people are horrible, or not Christians, if that's how your relationship with God looks, that's great, I just wish they would have mentioned and left some room for diversity.

sewing maching....the industrial god...

I sew now and i love it. I took a trip to the goodwill and found some really cool sheets, which inspired me to start sewing. My only problem was that my sewing machine is in Seattle, although I'm not sure where in Seattle. I went home with my new (actually really old) fabric and without a sewing machine. When my mother heard of my new interest in sewing she said...."well i have your grandma johnson's (who i've never met, she's dead now) sewing machine in the attick." So my mother and I climbed into the attick and there it was in all of it's 1948 glory. It weighs about 60 pounds....literally and smells like an old persons house plus an oil tanker. My mom said it probably wouldn't work, since it hadn't been used in 21 years. I lugged it downstairs, carefully placed it on the kitchen table (i was afraid the table might break from the weight) and started to hook the machine up to electricity. IT WORKED!!! I was so excited. And that's when I began to sew. It becomes addicting. I've never really sewn anything before, other than 500 yards of muslin to make Mission Adventure curtains.....TWICE. I've had to figure out how to do everything, mainly by trail and error. I invested in a seam ripper which is definitely something I use a lot. While i was sewing late last night I felt this sense of connection with my lost history. Unfortunately I never got to meet my dad's parents and no one ever talks about them. I've never seen a picture of them, I didn't even know their names, or were they lived until a few months ago. And here I was in 2007 using my father's mother's sewing machine that she used to make my father's clothes when she was my age. It was pretty cool. I have nothing to connect myself with her except that sewing machine. Anyways I really enjoy sewing, but I can't cut straight for the life of me, that's my only set back. I've made two purses, a few pillows, a pencil case and a sach (not sure how to spell it) for Jolene's hope chest. I heart sewing.

Happy Happy New Year....

I just wanted to tell everyone happy 2007. I was looking through my old journal from when I was 11 and I wrote that I would probably get married in 2007...so this is my year, I should live it up before I get married. I hope everyone's holiday was spectacular.