Introducing....

I've been pretty crazy the past two weeks. Wanna know why? It's because I have a puppy and she is very cute and naughty. I'm trying to follow the monks rules very closely, but it's hard. Here's some pictures.

It's about to get crazy...

I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now. It's a mixture of relief, sadness, anxiety, fear, joy, regret....pretty much all emotions all jumbled up, except maybe anger....i'm not too angry. It seems like a lot of my things in my life are either ending or starting right now. Tonight was the last night of Chanukah. I also had my final tonight so school is done...which means I've completed all of my pre-reqs for the nursing program. In 36 hours I will be getting a puppy. In two weeks I will have applied for the nursing program and in a month I will have know whether or not I got accepted. Christmas is coming, a year is ending. I'm getting a new job. People are moving out and into the house. It just seems like there's a pretty big chapter of my life ending, and another one is on the brink of starting.

I really enjoyed celebrating Chanukah with Pete. It's nice to have a different perspective on this time of year. I like the idea of physically celebrating something...maybe that's why I like to dance. I loved lighting the candles a certain way, with a certain candle and in a certain order. It was also cool speaking out blessings while retelling the miracle of the lamp through the lighting of the candles. I'd like to incorporate more Jewish traditions into my life.
Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha'o'lam asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu l'hadlik neir (shel) chanukah.

So like I said, I feel like it's about to get crazy in my life. Sometimes when I think about all the change that is happening, as well as a bunch of personal goals I am/want to make, life gets a little overwhelming. Like I said in previous blogs, I want to become a better communicator. I feel like I'm horrible at it right now and I hate the feeling I get when I don't communicate well, or when I know I should have communicated something but chickened out. I still have the desire for myself and my house to become a safe place for people who don't have one. My mother used to always say, we're family, this should be a safe place. I think that's what I'm wanting to recreate.

On another note. I miss David Harris and Clayre like crazy. They are some of the closest people I have in my life, but they both live so far away. I was talking about them to someone and saying how much I loved them, and then I realized that the majority of our friendship has been long distance and how it really really sucks that they are so far away. It made me sad, but they're worth it.

Friday night I'm going to this thing at St. Marks called Urban Hymnal. It's supposed to be a night of art, silence, prayer and music. I'm hoping that there will be space for me that night to process some of my feelings. The night also focuses on the sadness of the Christmas season, which is something I definitely am and will experience. St. Marks is a sacred place to me and I'm looking forward to some communal silence.

In conclusion. If you want to meet Tallulah, let me know. Introductions will be starting this weekend.

Domestic Christmas Goddess.....

This holiday season I've turned into a domestic goddess. So far I've made gingerbread house ornaments from scratch, popcorn and cranberry garland, Christmas snowman paintings, home made stockings with embroidered reindeer....and there's so more to come. I'm also celebrating Chanukah with my friend Pete. I'm even learning one of the Jewish blessings you're supposed to recite after lighting the candles. I love Christmas and I love making things. Tallulah comes in 6 days. I'm pretty nervous but very excited. I'm kinda sad that I'm not going home for Christmas, but I'm excited that I get to offer a safe place for other people to come for Christmas.

IT'S SNOWING AHHH!!!

right now, i'm sitting in front of my fire, listening to vince guaraldi's charlie brown christmas, sipping hot chocolate and WATCHING THE SNOW POUR FORM THE HEAVENS. today at approximately 1 pm the lord heard my prayer. it's the first seattle snow of this year and it's amazing. justin and i decided to go out and play in the snow. I LOVE SNOW!

Christmas is here....

Yesterday was the Macy's Holiday parade and the annual lighting of the tree downtown. Mandy and I woke up at 6:30 a.m., caught the bus in the freezing cold (literally 32 degrees) and found ourselves the perfect spot to watch the parade from. After the parade we headed back home to warm up before the lighting of the christmas tree. Justin and Bubba decided to come to the tree lighting with us, so we made our way back to downtown. We had to fight our way through masses and masses of people to get a good viewing spot of the tree and the fireworks.....oh yeah i forgot to mention that they shoot fireworks out of the macy's star. special guest stacy orrico sang christmas in the northwest and mayor greg nichols made a rather moving speech about global warming and how it's causing santa's home to melt. all of this to say, christmas is here and i LOVE it.

Happy Thanksgiving...

....this thanksgiving i'm thankful for shelton and hockey. yesterday haley and i went to another hockey game. as always it was great. sadly the t-birds lost, but that didn't put a damper on our upcoming holiday festivities. today our whole house, minus old josiah and angela and plus mindy and brittian, went to brian's house in shelton for thanksgiving. it was amazing. great people, great foot, great dogs. i was really excited for our drive home because that meant i could finally start listening to christmas music...and we did. justin, mandy, brittian and i sang our little christmas hearts out the whole 2 hour drive home. thanks haley for hockey, thanks brian and his family for thanksgiving, thanks justin and brittian for letting us listen to mariah carey christmas.

i know what you're thinking.....

yes, she is the cutest puppy you've ever seen. i'm picking her up December 13th!!!

i love sports!!

i have a new love for sports. well actually it's been kinda building for about two years, but i think i'm hooked. growing up my family wasn't too into sports, so it wasn't a big part of my life. when i moved to seattle i had my first real sporting event....baseball. now for all of you who love baseball, i'm sorry but it's an extremely boring game, and i hate it. all that to say....i thought i didn't really like sports until i got sucked into football (american and the rest of the world kind). i watched the seahawks fight their way to the superbowl, woke up early to watch the world cup, even caught a few huskies game. just as a disclaimer, just because i really enjoy football, does not mean i understand any of it. i've got the general concept down but i'm still looking for someone to explain the details. ANYWAYS....enough about football, i'll get to the good stuff. last night brian took me to a seattle thunderbirds hockey game. the only experience i had with hockey was watching mighty ducks as a kid, so i was really nervous going to the game. we got their late but it didn't really matter. the game was AMAZING. there was absolutely no point during the game where i got bored. and if you know me, you know i hate being bored and LOVE not being bored.


it was great. so much energy from the players and the fans.......wow. there was one awkward fight on the ice, but besides that, i think it was the best sporting event of my life. the third period was the most intense. seattle was playing the tricities and the game was tied the whole last half, until one of the players for seattle scored 2 goals in the last 4 minutes. like i said it was great. i might want to marry a hockey player, they're pretty hardcore. thanks brian for letting me tag along with you!

SHE'S ALIVE!!!!

My puppy was born. She's extremely precious. Her name is Tallulah Margot Johnson. I get to pick her up at the end December. I'm really excited.

Purpose....wtf??? oh yeah, happy november!

So this blog might be a bit scatter brained but there's a few things floating in my head....we'll see how it goes. I might post in bullet style......

1. Brian, Justin, Anna, Josiah and I went to the Henry art gallery for the opening of Kim Jones and his mudman madness. I didn't quite get the purpose of it though, a lot of other people didn't understand either and it freaked me out that no one understood the purpose.Anyways...this guy Kim Jones takes his clothes off in the middle of the museum and covers himself with mud and dons a mud and stick backpack of sort, then walks around. Still I don't get it. And how can everyone be ok with no one understanding??


















2. I have to preface this next bullet. I have to apply for the nursing program and I'm extremely stressed out about it. Ok, I can begin.... I was talking with a friend today and we were talking about purpose. He asked if I had a purpose and I kinda realized I don't actually have one. Quite the big revelation I know. The closest thing I have to a purpose right now is nursing; which would explain why I'm so stressed about apply for the program. If I don't get in then I really have zero...almost minus purpose. Sometimes I feel like the only fulfilling purpose is one with God in the center and to be quite honest I'm not sure I want one of those purposes. Not that I hate God, I'm just not super fond of those typical God purposes.
Moving on...

3. Lately I've been having an EXTREMELY hard time making decisions. Even the simplest choices have been difficult for me to make. Usually, even if I'm not exactly sure what I want, I've always been able to just pick and go....not any more.

4. I've been listening to a lot of Dolly Parton and I LOVE her!!

5. I really wish more than anything I knew how to ice skate.

All around me are familiar faces.....

The past 6 months seems like a whirlwind of new faces and new experiences. It's been great meeting a lot of new people and making new friends, but the past week I've really been longing for some familiar faces. I want to sit in a room with people who know my story; where silence is ok and there's no pressure to make conversation. I've realized lately that less and less people know my story and I don't know many of my newer friends stories either. It makes me sad, but it's hard for me to learn about someones past when it's not facilitated for me in a hyper compressed get to know you session. I want to become better at asking questions and allowing people to tell me their story. I want to become a better listener and actually care when people tell me about their life. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with trying to maintain healthy relationships and that's when I crave those familiar faces the most. I miss the Rupps a lot. As well as the Cunninghams. I miss Tina, David and Clayre. I miss my Mom. Those people are my family and I feel honored that they let me be part of their lives. I think sometimes I take those relationships for granted but right now they are precious to me. There's nothing better than having people really know me and them still loving me.

PUMPKIN FEST '07!!!

This weekend was the 3rd annual Pumpkin Fest. My friend Dave Hart is the mastermind behind the event and started it to honor and celebrate the harvest season. Day two of pumpkin fest consisted of cooking a cornucopia of pumpkin treats and decorating with harvest like things....followed by a huge party full of blue grass, dancing, food, fire, whiskey, and fun. I say pumpkin fest '07 was the best pumpkin fest yet. You can't really go wrong with pumpkin, music and friends though...



Pumpkin fest....this is what dreams are made of...



















Pumpkin goodies....

























Our entertainment for the evening...the whiskey swillers....



















YAY!! Pumpkin fest!!!



















Who doesn't want a wheelbarrow full of beer?




















Peparing for the festivities....




















The pumpkin fest dream team....

drive to the country day......

pumpkin fest is this weekend and the first day consists of drive the to the country day....followed by the big fest. dave, rachel, stef and i drove about 45 minutes east and found fall city. we stopped in town and talked with some locals and ate at a burger shack. we met one young man by the name of brian who has hopes of starting his own restaurant and gave us some great advice on where to buy a car in seattle. here's some pictures.....