...hold your mistake up...

last week i was in seattle, and it was very good for my soul. while i was falling asleep on the couch in the town house, i had a revelation....mistakes do not equal sin. weird. now maybe this means nothing to everyone else, but i've spent the majority of my life equating mistakes with sin. last summer while i was preparing for mission adventures with dave and phil, dave said something that blew my mind away. he said, don't worry if you mess up, you've never done these kinds of things before, it's ok to make mistakes. i didn't fully understand why that comment was so huge for me, but now i do. when dave told me that i felt so free. no one's ever told me it was ok to mess up before. when i'm faced with things that i could potentially make a mistake on (which is almost everything) i either go crazy trying to make it perfect or don't try at all. it was because i figured if i made a mistake in the process it wasn't even worth attempting. i'm not so afraid of life anymore. i wish everyone understood how huge this revelation was for me. why didn't someone tell me this earlier. everytime i screwed up something, or made a mistake i thought i was sinning and would have to repent or i would go straight to hell. i don't know where i got my previous thinking, but it definately messed with a lot of my life decisions. so now i have all this freedom and i'm very happy.

FINAL...ly

My finals are over, and I'm very happy. I don't think i failed anything which is good. I think my most difficult class was English. Maby not most difficult but, I had to put the most amount of effort into it. Our final exam was putting all of our writings into a portfolio for our teacher to grade, we got them back today along with our grade. It was a good feeling when my classmates and I were handed back our portfolio, and we all sighed in reflief. None of us failed the class. I've gotten to know the people in my row (the back row also known as the bad row) and it was nice to have them there when we all got our final grades. It feel good sometimes to go through difficult things people and in the end suceed. We didn't have to stay for class because there wasn't any class, but none of us wanted to leave each other. It was strange all 5 of us had been trying to get through this class, helping each other, comparing each others grades, bitching together and now it one quick moment it was all over. So we all just sat there for a while in our back row, very relieved but in a weird way sad. We all knew that we wouldn't keep in touch after the semester was over, but it was ok. Eventually me and another girl left and said bye and it was over. It's nice to have relationships that are ok to end.